This page is for general education and is not medical advice. It is not a substitute for diagnosis or treatment by a qualified professional. If this is an emergency, call 911 or 988.
Watching someone you love struggle is hard, and it’s not always clear when everyday difficulty becomes something that needs professional support — that uncertainty is normal, and you don’t have to figure it out alone. You don’t need a diagnosis or certainty to reach out; when in doubt, it’s reasonable to seek guidance. The signs below can help you tell ordinary stress from something worth a professional’s attention.
Signs it may be time to seek help
Consider professional support when you notice that your loved one’s struggles are:
- Lasting — symptoms persist more than two weeks, or keep getting worse.
- Interfering with daily life — work, school, relationships, or basic self-care.
- Isolating — they withdraw from people and activities they used to enjoy.
- Changing them — big shifts in mood, sleep, appetite, or energy.
- Risky — heavier drinking or substance use, or other harmful coping.
- Dangerous — any talk of self-harm, hopelessness, or being a burden. Treat this as urgent.
You don’t need every sign on this list. A persistent gut feeling that something is wrong is reason enough to start a conversation.
How to start the conversation
Choose a calm, private moment and lead with care rather than a diagnosis.
What helps to say:
- “I’ve noticed you’ve been having a really hard time, and I care about you. How are you doing?”
- “You don’t have to handle this alone — I can help you find someone to talk to.”
- “Would it help if I sat with you while you made the call?”
What to avoid:
- Diagnosing, blaming, or leading with “you need therapy.”
- Pressure or ultimatums. Offer help and let them keep a sense of control.
- Waiting for the “perfect” moment — “I’ve noticed, and I care” is enough to begin.
How to support them day to day
- Offer to help with the first step. Finding a provider or making the first call is often the hardest part; doing it together lowers the barrier.
- Use trusted resources. Our condition guides explain symptoms and treatment, and Find Help by State lists local providers, low-cost care, and crisis lines.
- Keep checking in. Let them know the door stays open, even if they’re not ready yet.
- Know the free options. The SAMHSA National Helpline (1-800-662-4357) offers free, confidential referrals 24/7, and 988 is always available in a crisis.
Looking after yourself
Carrying worry for someone else is heavy, and you deserve support too.
- Set realistic boundaries about what you can offer.
- Keep your own routines, rest, and relationships going.
- Accept that you can encourage and support, but you can’t force an adult into care or do their recovery for them.
- Seek your own support — a friend, counselor, or caregiver group — so you don’t carry it alone.
Where to get help
If there is any immediate risk — your loved one is talking about or attempting suicide or self-harm, or can’t stay safe — contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline now: call or text 988 for free, confidential help, any time. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. See also crisis help and warning signs.
From there:
- Explore our condition hubs to understand what your loved one may be facing.
- Use Find Help by State to find local providers and low-cost care.
- Not sure where to start? You can talk to a trained person through 988 or the free SAMHSA National Helpline, and help your loved one connect to care when they’re ready.
From our clinical review. The question I hear most is “Is it bad enough yet to get help?” — and that framing is part of the problem. You don’t have to wait for a crisis. Mental health care is easier and more effective the earlier it starts, and reaching out for guidance isn’t an overreaction. If you’re wondering whether it’s time, that wondering is usually your answer.
Frequently asked questions
How do I know if my loved one needs professional help?
Consider professional help if symptoms last more than two weeks, get worse, affect daily functioning, or involve any thoughts of self-harm. If there's any risk of harm, seek help immediately by calling or texting 988.
What if my loved one refuses to get help?
You can't force an adult into care, but you can keep the door open: share what you've noticed, listen without pressure, and let them know you'll help whenever they're ready. Offer to find a provider or make the first call together. If there's any risk of harm to themselves or others, call or text 988 or seek emergency help right away.
When is mental health an emergency?
Treat it as an emergency if your loved one talks about or attempts suicide or self-harm, can't stay safe, or is a danger to themselves or others. Call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or call 911 (or go to the nearest emergency room) if there is immediate danger.
Sources
- Caring for Your Mental Health — National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)
- SAMHSA National Helpline — Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)
- Help Someone Else — 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Reviewed against the sources above. This page is educational and is not medical advice.
Support for you and your loved one
Reach the free, confidential SAMHSA National Helpline for treatment referrals and information.
This is the free, confidential SAMHSA National Helpline, operated by the U.S. government. Get Mental Help is not affiliated with it and is not compensated for these calls. How this site is funded.